Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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