you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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