I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you traded sex for a burrito?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I licked your asshole in confidence.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize