Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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