I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it's like heaven, but drunker
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
