All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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