I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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