Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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