She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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