dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize