Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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