is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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