No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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