Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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