actually, I'm a sock model
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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