Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
