i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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