You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
