dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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