I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
