This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize