I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
