im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
