I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
