I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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