Already got asked if we're dating
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
