I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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