she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I party with great urgency now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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