if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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