That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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