i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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