The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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