just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
