I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
