so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
