That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
