Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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