Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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