I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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