i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
