he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
