Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
