Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
