Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
