I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
