I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
