His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
