i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
