I showed him my bush... on skype.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
