Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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