so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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