I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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