You're so nebulous sometimes
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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