So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
