KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions