he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.