shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
