So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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