She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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