I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have tasted many bathrooms
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
