Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
