So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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