Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
