Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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