oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just invented taco cereal.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
