whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
