Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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