glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
