I wannas sexs uuuuu
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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