I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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