WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
